The Hogwarts Talent Show
by ILOVELINKINPARK222
Summary: PG-13 for freaky people singing freaky songs..Ok, just read the title and read the sotry and you have a summary...Did that make sense? Well, just read/review, k?


The Hogwarts Talent Show  
ILOVELINKINPARK222  
I own nothing. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and co. Linkin Park owns Place for my head. George Strait owns Run, Britney Spears (Queers) owns Hit Me Baby. No Doubt owns Hey Baby  
A/N: This is going to be a one chapter thing unless someone asks me to do more. Well, that's all I have to say, so, here we go.....  
  
This takes place in the 7th year.  
"Students! Students!" Welcome to another year!! This year will be fabulous. We are going to start off with a talent show!!!!!!!!!!" Dumbledore raised his arm and waited for the claps. They didn't come. Only gasps and whispers.  
"I SAID A TALENT SHOW!!!!!!!" He yelled. Nothing.   
"FINE! Then your punishment is that you all HAVE to do an act!!!!!!! i was going to have sign up sheets but, nooo, so you HAVE to do and act or...I'll expel you." Dumbledore said. Everyone clapped. "Too, late."   
And with that all of the kids started to eat, it was dead silent.   
"All 7th years will go first. 4 weeks. 5 weeks for 6th year and so forth." Dumbledore announced making the 7th years groan.  
*****************That*Night**************  
"This is unbelievable!" Shouted Harry Potter.  
"I think it will be fun.." Thought Hermione out loud.  
"Riiiiiiiight!" Said Ron   
"Well, would we rather be expelled? Let's find out what we are going to do." Hermione answered.  
"Ok...whatever." Said Harry.  
******************4*Weeks*Later************  
The day of the Talent Show for the 7th years & teachers.  
"Our first contestant is Sevvveerrrrrrrruuuussssssss Snnnnnnnaaaaaaaaapppee!! "Shouted Dumbledore.  
Snape walked up mumbling some not so nice things at Dumbledore.  
"Ok, for my talent I am going to play the violin." No one clapped. Snape sat on a stool and started to play.  
In 5 seconds everyone was clutching their ears and screaming for it to stop. Snape COULD NOT play the violin. He...sucked. It was screechy and REALLY bad. He got up after bowing. thinking they were screaming for more and left then stage.   
"And now......Minervaaaaaaaaa Mgconigallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll (SP?)"  
"For my talent I will be doing an opera." She said. And then she sang:  
"La La La La La La LLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!   
Thank you!" She left everyone deaf for approximately 5 minutes.   
After she walked off some more teachers stood up that were fairly good then it was the students turn."  
"Now, Mr. HARRRRRRRRYYYY POTTTTEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!"  
"Ok, er, my talent is,, umm...rapping" and then Harry Took off his robes and under them he had baggy jeans. One pant leg pulled up, a big shirt that had rude hand gestures on it. A flipped up visor on his head, and 2 huge diamond crosses hanging from his neck. All his fingers he had silver rings and silver bracelets on his wrists. And as a last décor he had 3 golden teeth caps.   
Then he rapped:  
"ALL MY @#$@#$ IN THE HOOD LETS @@@#$@#$@#$ AND SNIZZLE WIZZLE @#%#$# AND I AM THE GREATEST @#$@#$ AROUND SO DON'T MESS WIF THE BEST AND I @##$@#$ AM COOL!! BLING-BLING I AM COOL WHO...ME....EVERYBODY SAY HEEEYYY....EVERYBODY SAY...HHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO, CASH MONEY RECORDS!!!!! I DA PIMP YOU DA HO!!!!! I DA PIMP YOU DA HHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" And then he stopped and bowed and left the stage. There was tremendous applause.  
"Okkkkkaaayyy, well, next we have Draaaaaccccoooo Maaaalllllffoooyyyy!"  
When Draco walked up he seemed to have changed. He was wearing his robes but his hair was spiked up really high. Then he sang:  
"I watch how the moon sits on the sky on a dark night, shining with the light from the sun but the sun doesn't give the light to the moon assuming the moons gonna owe it one, it makes me think of how you act to me, you do favors then rapidly, You just turn around and start asking me about things that you want back from me.  
I'm sick of the tension  
sick of the hunger  
sick of you acting like I owe you this, find another place to feed your greed   
while I find a place to rest.  
I want to be in another place I hate when you say you don't understand.   
I want to be in the energy not with the enemy a place for my head.  
Maybe someday I'll be just like you, and step on people like you do, and  
Run away all the people I thought I knew  
I remember back then who you were,  
You used to be calm, used to be strong,  
Used to be generous, but you should've known  
That you'd wear out your welcome  
and now you see how quiet it is all alone.  
I'm sick of the tension  
sick of the hunger  
sick of you acting like I owe you this, find another place to feed your greed   
while I find a place to rest (x2)  
You try to take the best of me GO AWAY! (x8)  
Thank you!'" and with that Draco walked away.  
"Umm...Hermione, come on up."  
Hermione came up. She was wearing her hair straight and wearing a red cat suit then amidst many whistles she sang:  
"OOPS I DID IT AGAIN  
I MADE YOU BELIEVE  
WERE MORE THEN JUST FRIENDS  
OO BABY BABY  
OOPS YOU THINK I'M IN LOVE   
SENT FROM ABOOOVVVE  
I'M NOT THAT INNOCENT..........."   
"Oh, my God what have I done, Ronald Weasley, lets go." Dumbledore said.  
Ron came up and said:  
"Ok, I'm a fan of country and I'm gonna sing George Strait's Run. And I have one thing to say, There's only 2 kinds of music, Country and Western...Here we go...." and he sang:  
"IF THERE'S A PLANE OR A BUS LEAVIN' DALLAS,  
I HOPE YOUR ON IT.  
IF THERE'S A TRAIN MOVIN'fAST DOWN THE TRACKS,  
I HOPE YOU CAUGHT IT.  
'CAUSE I SWEAR OUT THERE, AIN'T WHERE YOU OUTTA BE.  
SO CATCH A RIDE, CATCH A CAB, DON'T YA KNOW I MISS YA BAD,  
BUT DON'T YOU WALK TO ME,  
BABY RUUNNNN CUT A PATH ACROSS THE BLUE SKIES,  
STRAIGHT IN A STRAIGHT LINE YOU CAN'T GET HERE FAST ENOUGH,  
FIND A TRUCK AND FIRE IT UP, LEAN ON THE GAS AND OFF THE CLUTCH,  
LEAVER DALLAS IN THE DUST, I NEED YOU IN A RUSH,  
SO BABY RUN.  
IF YOU AIN'T GOT A SUITCASE, GET A BOX OR AN OLD BROWN PAPER SACK  
PACK IT LIGHT OR PACK IT HEAVY, TAKE A TRUCK, TAKE A CHEVY,  
BABY JUST COME BACK,  
THERE'S A SHORT CUT TO THE HIGHWAY OUT OF TOWN, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT?  
DON'T LET THAT OLD SPEED LIMIT SLOW YOU DOWN, GO ON AND BREAK IT  
BABY RUUNNNN CUT A PATH ACROSS THE BLUE SKIES,  
STRAIGHT IN A STRAIGHT LINE YOU CAN'T GET HERE FAST ENOUGH,  
FIND A TRUCK AND FIRE IT UP, LEAN ON THE GAS AND OFF THE CLUTCH,  
LEAVER DALLAS IN THE DUST, I NEED YOU IN A RUSH,  
SO BABY RUN.  
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!" Shouted Ron as he walked off the stage.  
  
"And the last performance tonight will be Crabbe and Golye singing, Hey, Baby by No Doubt, this should be fun"  
And with that Crabbe and Goyle sang:  
"I'm the kinda girl who hangs with the guys,   
like a fly on the wall with my secret eyes  
Taking it in, try to be feminine  
with my make-up bag, watching all the sin,  
Misfit I sit, wicked  
Everybody else surrounded by the girls  
With their tank tops and their flirty words.  
I'm just sippin' on chamomile,   
Watching boys and girls in the sex appeal  
With a stranger in my face who says he knows my mom and went to my highschool.  
All the boys say,  
"Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey,  
Girls say, girls say,  
"Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey, "Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey,"  
Boys say Boys say  
"Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey,  
All the boys get the girls in the back  
I'm the one they feed upon  
Give a bit a star is born  
And if you're hot enough you'll get the pass  
So you can tell your friends how you made it back.  
No matter what they say I'm still the same  
Somehow everybody knows my name  
And all the girls wanna get with the boys  
and the boys really like it.  
All the boys say,  
"Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey,  
Girls say, girls say,  
"Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey, "Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey,"  
Boys say Boys say  
"Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey,  
All the boys get the girls in the back  
"Thank you for coming...Good Night!" Dumbledore said, looking sick.  
A/N: Ok, you like? Um....if you want more, like the 6th years, or more 7th years, ask...and I'll give. 


End file.
